How To Approach Women During The Day

Written by Mark D. Burg 

The Opener – the actual words you are saying when approaching a girl – is very much overrated. 

What you say to a girl doesn't matter as much as how you say it. 

I bet you heard that before. But it's nevertheless true. Your vibe and your overall attitude and appearance are way more important. The positive energy coming from your good vibe is contagious and will hook a girl more than any opener can. 

Being calm, playful, and a bit cocky is the best attitude to have when approaching girls. However, even though the opener itself is overrated, approaching a total stranger takes guts and is psychologically stressful for all of us. 

That's why you shouldn't worry too much about it – everyone has it. Try to embrace the challenge and enjoy the rush it gives you. The rewards are more than worth it. 

Where to approach? 

The best place to approach a girl in the daytime is somewhere where she is not in a hurry. She might stroll down the sidewalk, browse the store windows, sit in a cafe reading a book, or enjoy the sun in a park. 

If you are new to flirting with girls, I would recommend that you start approaching girls who stroll or do a low-key, non-stationary activity like shopping or sightseeing. The reason is that when you start out, you might not see all the signs of disinterest a girl is giving you.

If you approach her while she is walking or doing something, she can easily excuse herself and be on her way. This gives her an easy way out, and you get useful feedback without wasting time. 

In the beginning, you don't want to put a girl in a position where it's hard for her to disengage if she wishes to, like when she sitting in the corner of a coffee shop. If you do so, you risk a hard rejection, awkward conversations, and many wrong numbers. 

You want to talk to girls who want to talk to you. 

As mentioned, if you are not sure how to read these signs of interest yet, approach girls in a setting that gives them an easy way out, e.g., on the street while they are scrolling. In this setting, you can keep talking to them until they disengage or give you their number. In some instances, you can also go on an instant date with them.

Once I see a pretty girl walking slowly on the street, I approach her with the following opener:

Me: "Hi! I hope you have a second. I have to tell you something. I was back there when I saw you and what I noticed about you is... You look very Parisien. I guess it's your long black hair, your elegant style... and your crazy eyes." 

Her: "No, I'm actually from Turkey." 

Me: "Oh, my mum warned me about Turkish girls." 

Her: "Really?" 

Me: "Yeah, she said they are beautiful, good at cooking, and all crazy." 

Her: "Not all of us, haha" 

Me: "So guess you are studying in London? ..." 

This general opener works excellent in big international cities like London. You can replace Pariesien with any city or country you want. 

If you know the girl is foreign or you approach a girl in a non-English speaking country, a good opener would be: "Hi, I hope you speak English..." then you continue with the template above. 

If you are in a smaller city, you can replace the country with a job "You look like a librarian..." or mood "You look very excited..." and then tell her why you think so. 

Girls love nothing more than attention. 

The opener above has many elements that girls find irresistible: 

1. It's all about her, and there is nothing more girls love. 
2. You compliment her as well as tease her. This creates attraction through tension. 
3. You take leadership and drive the conversation forward. Your dominant frame builds further attraction.

This general template is proven to be very effective and will serve you well. Use it. 

Situational Opener 

Another way to open a girl at e.g., a bus stop, museum, or a house party, is by using a situational opener. 

I approached a girl at an open house party recently. Anyone from the street could join; it's crazy, I know. The only rule was to remove your shoes to go into the house. 

I didn't want to do that and was standing by the door when I noticed that a girl was positioning herself pretty close to me, so I asked her: 

Me: "Do you know who lives here? I mean, who would be so crazy to open their house to total strangers?" 

Her: "Yeah, I know. I think I saw one of them earlier. He was playing guitar in the garden." 

I then started flirting with playful accusations like "Hey, are you checking me out?! I thought you were interested in my big personality, but I guess I was wrong all along." I said that obviously with a smirk on my face. 

Use the situational opener when the environment or circumstance allows you to start a conversation naturally. Make sure you make her aware of your intent and start flirting pretty quickly, so you don't end up in the friend zone. 

Observational Opener 

The last opener I would like to talk about in this article is the observational opener. 

Instead of focusing on the situation, this opener concentrates on the girl and something interesting, contradictory, or unusual about her. This can be the different colors of her socks and nails. The book she reads and how it doesn't fit with her overall appearance. The dress she is wearing or something weird she just did. 

It should be an observation that brings a slight tension with it because tension is where attraction thrives. It goes without saying that you never just point these things out, you always want to say something about them.  

Ask yourself, what is interesting or unusual about my observation, and then tell the girl your thoughts. Here are two examples: 

A girl studying in a coffee: "Hey, I can't help but notice something interesting about you. It confuses me a bit. I see you studying hard, with all the books around you, your laptop open, and you have those cute sensible glasses. And yet I see tattoos on your arm and shoulder, a leather jacket, and those striped tights. It's like you are combining a good girl and a bad-girl look. Intriguing." 

Or 

After you have had clear eye contact with a girl: "Woah, wait a second. Slow down, girl. I'm not sure where you are from, but in this country, you can't just check someone out like that without saying hi. My heart is not made out of stone. I have feelings too. You are lucky the police are not around." 

Don't forget; it's not as important what you say but how you say it. Always say it with playful confidence, add a little smirk and try to look your best that day. If you do all that, you have a good chance to get a positive response. 

Regardless of what opener you use, the most important thing is that you do it! Without approaching girls, you will never be able to get them. It's an essential skill you need to succeed.
 
There is no such thing as the best opener. 

If you're not sure what opener to use, don't worry; just do it and enjoy it!