My Personal Development Story

Written by Mark D. Burg

I'm walking up the stairs in a crowded club and see her at the top waiting for me to pass. I'm looking into her eyes as I walk by and notice a little spark of interest as she looks into mine. I continue walking, but after two steps I turn around like I forgot something. 

I'm following her down the stairs as I see something sticking to her heel. It was a piece of toilet paper. Perfect, I have my opener. 

When she arrives at the bottom, I grab her arm like a security guard would do to stop her. As she turns around, I step on the piece of toilet paper. She looks confused and is wondering what's happening. 

I look deep into her eyes and say with a little smirk: "I just saved your night. You had toilet paper sticking to your heel." She looks down and notices the piece of paper.  

Her demeanor changed, and she thanked me with a little smile. 

Me: "You've been looking a bit concerned when I walked past you, is everything OK?"

She: "I'm not sure. I can't find my friends." 

Me: "I'm in the same situation. I lost my friend." 

I ask her where she is from, and we continue talking. She gives me 100% of her attention. I also notice that she is no longer worrying about her friends. 

We are standing in a busy spot. So I take her hand and pull her around the corner where we have more privacy.

I quickly notice that she likes me a lot. I then ask her if she is hungry. She says, yes. So I suggest leaving the club and grabbing something to eat. She agrees.

As we leave, she asks where we will eat something. I playfully tell her that I have a fridge full of delicious food at my place.

She says: "Come on, I'm not going to go to your place." 

I respond with: "Don't worry, I live next to Liverpool Street Station, and we can grab something to eat there." 

I catch a cab and tell the driver my home address as I get into the car with her. I stay calm and let her do the talking. She is looking at my lips while talking. It's time to act. 

I kiss her as she is finishing her thought.

When we arrive outside my apartment, I explain that she is safe and can trust me – I know she does. 

We say "Hi" to the concierge and get into the elevator. The moment I close the apartment door, I push her to the wall and kiss her.

She drops everything and spends the night with me ... 

My life wasn't always like that. 

To lead a girl that I just met from the club to my bedroom within an hour of meeting her was not something I thought was possible. But here I am. What happened to me? 

How did I become who I am today?

Let me tell you when it all started ...

For the better part of my life, I tried to be a Nice Guy. I tried to be friendly, generous, and helpful. I wanted to make people around me happy.

By doing that, I thought I would get everything I wanted in life. That's what I was told. That's how I was raised. I believed it. 

It was not always easy to be good and meet the expectations of others. I usually had to hide my mistakes and couldn't express my true needs and desires. I didn't take any risks and started to avoid conflicts. I became a pushover. 

Girls ignored me, and guys didn't respect me.

I started to ask myself: is there something wrong with me?

If trying to be good makes me unhappy, does that mean I'm a bad person? 

The media confirmed my already negative beliefs about myself by telling me all the horrible things men have done across the world. I felt guilty and ashamed to be a man. 

So I doubled down on my "goodness." I didn't want to be like all the other men. I wanted to stand out and be different. I thought that if I was nice, then I would be liked and appreciated. I thought that was the right path to a smooth and problem-free life.

I was wrong. 

What followed was more of the same – more frustrations, more anger. 

My moods swung from being too polite and helpful to bursts of passive-aggressive behavior, snobby comments, and sarcasm. 

All while hiding my ever-growing addiction to pornography and video games. 

My grades in university went down, and my social circle, which was not big to start with, got smaller and smaller. 

Here I was, a 20-year-old virgin living with my mum. No Job, no girlfriend, no path forward ...

I lost my virginity at 20 by doing what most guys do to get laid: get drunk, and hit on girls. 

Even though I didn't know what I was doing, I managed to get laid occasionally and stumble into some short relationships. 

I was not in control of any of my relationships and failed in bed big time, or should I say soft time. I tried to make up for it by being as kind and helpful as possible, but that made things only worse. 

When I was 23, one girl that I was dating at that time changed the direction of my life without knowing it. Like so many girls before, she didn't respect me even though I'd try my best to satisfy her needs. 

The tipping point was when I found her diary and read the following: "Mark is really nice to me, almost too nice. I appreciate everything he does, but I don't think I'm the right girl for him. He deserves better." 

I was stunned and could not make sense of what I was reading. If I'm nice and you appreciate everything I do for you, then why don't you want to be with me? Why don't you love me? 

On that day, I realized that whatever I was doing, did NOT work. 

I needed answers. 

I wanted the truth. 

I craved change ... 

That's when I became obsessed with personal development and started taking consistent actions. Hundreds of books and thousands of hours of trial and error led to my transformation and the man I am today.

It didn't take me long to discover that I had to accept one thing to succeed on my personal journey. I outlined what that one thing is in the following article: One Thing You Need To Do To Succeed With Women